#117

I wish you a journey of yellow lights with a bored, smalltown cop riding behind you the entire time. I wish you lactose sensitivities and a gluten allergy at a restaurant that says they have a full gluten-sensitive menu but really only serves two salads. I hope that one of them is your all-time favorite salad and that while you’re enjoying it, a delicious bite goes down the wrong pipe and causes your life to flash before your eyes. I hope that someone in the room learned CPR about three years ago and saves your life, but also cracks a few ribs in the process. The therapist said that I’m not supposed to waste my time wishing you ill so instead, I wish you regularly inconvenienced.

#107

When will the amnesia set it? When will the many tears I shed be replaced by feelings of nostalgia?

#75

“I mean the town is fine or whatever. It’s just that the quality of people is very low.”

#72

My smiles have been fake all day and now my cheeks, in addition to my soul, hurt.

#71

“And what exactly am I supposed to do about that? Sometimes two roads just diverge in the woods.”

#52

I already feel badly about the things I didn’t accomplish after college so what exactly would be the point of going to the reunion?

#46

“Why can’t I feel the things other people feel?”

#39

P.S Shut up

#31

“I’m pre-coffee and full of hate.”

“I like your hate. It’s punctuated with tired claps.”

#23

Rest in power since you couldn’t find peace.