Glue your heart back together with mozzarella and paint it with pinot.
The woman eyes my items and tells me that she’s worried about how available CBD oil is now. “I mean, what’s next?”
I am using a frozen pizza to ice my knee. I know I shouldn’t answer a fool according to their folly, but hanger gets the best of me. “Hopefully pain relief and dinner,” I answer.
I used to be able to eat a whole large pizza by alone, but life happened and I seem to have lost myself. I’ve lost all confidence in my skills and abilities.
“I accidentally pushed the wrong button and ordered two pizzas. The good news is that I will probably still be sad and hungry tomorrow.”
This particular establishment is known for being the city’s second best pizza place.
I am going to eat my way through the carbs of Grand Rapids.
“Since we both have bad Tuesdays, we could make Tuesday pizza night.”
“But if you follow that logic then we should have pizza on Wednesday too.”
“And also Thursday.”
“We can eat healthy on Sunday.”