This morning, I heard Oprah say that she’s at a place in her life where she doesn’t interact with people she doesn’t want to see. Dearest Oprah, how do I get to that stage?
“He’s out there living his life, and I’m over here stress-eating jicama.”
“Jesus did not, in fact, travel all the way to earth, uphill and in the sand, to give you the freedom to act like a child of Satan.”
“Let me be alone with my bad attitude.”
“Did that sound dumb when you said it?”
“Please stop wanting things from me.”
“But I don’t like writing!”
“Few people do, bud.”